03.09.09
Watchmen
I didn’t know what to expect from this movie. I went in with an open mind. I’ll keep this sort and sweet so you don’t waste any more time on this movie than you need to.
The main time frame of the movie takes place in the 80’s. We see a vignette of events that lead the characters to the point the movies starts. It’s a parallel universe where Nixon is president, the cold war is an eminent threat leaving the dooms day clock set to 4 minutes to midnight and all superheros, or Watchmen, are forced into mainstream society after Tricky Dick puts a ban on Masked avengers. The opening scene we see “The Comic” get what we find out later is his just deserts. We are introduced to Rorschach, a former watchman, who believes that someone is out to put a hit on all former superheros. We are lead to believe this is going to be a murder mystery but the plot thickens and we learn that the movie has several morals to it that are depressing but I guess that’s the big joke. For example, one of these tragic morals is if we have a shitty life no matter how shitty it is there are moments that are less shitty than others and those “better” shitty moments make it worth our while.
There is a scene in the movie where Laurie Jupiter tries to talk The Blue Penis…I mean, Doctor Manhattan into going to back to earth to stop what we think is a nuclear war. The penis,….I mean Dr. Manhattan has the power to be able to show people their pasts and he is able to see them through them. He sees a part of Laurie’s past and after he has written mankind off as unworthy of saving he see, through Laurie how precious and rare creating life is and how the odds of actually making a baby makes actually having one so precious so he decides to try to save the world.
I wont’ blow the ending and guess what, the plot thickens and there is another penis….I mean MORAL to the story.. if I tell you what it is it will blow the ending but it’s basically saying that if we can find a common enemy who we think kills millions of people we can start world peace because we now have something in common, our hatred for Blue penis!
I must say I did enjoy seeing Dr. Manhattan walk around with his blue dick flopping around. It wasn’t crude or anything in fact it made more sense for his “godlike” character to walk around naked. He didn’t understand humans or their things so why would he understand clothes. The Guy’s body was insane. If you’re gay or straight you’d have to admit that body is perfect. It’s certainly going to help me out on lonely nights 
This one character, Rorschach, I would have sworn was the kid from Gummo…but I just looked it up and he’s not…but man was he weird looking!! Great casting!
This was one of the lamest movies I’ve ever seen. I did not see it in an IMAX theatre which i’ve been told is the reason I didn’t enjoy it. I’m sorry but if I have to see a movie in IMAX…it’s not that good of a movie. I liked the characters, they were all pretty lovable even the one who kills women and children. The director took to much time going into back stories on EVERY person in the movie…..except the lesbiens….go figure..you just get a quick background on them and how they died doing some sick shit in bed.
My overall opinion of the movie is that it was entirely to long. It had a great story But they probably should have taken the time to make a trilogy or something so you can get the entire back story without wanting to blow your brains out because you’ve been sitting in a theatre for 3 hours. This movie had all the elements of a good action flick….tits and ass, sex, blood guts and glory but I just didn’t like it overall. Hollywood, you need to learn to tell a story in under 2 hours, unless you’re making lord of the rings. You’re wasting my time, I want my life back and for now I’ll stick to reading the comics.
Yoggie said,
March 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Since Alan Moore (the creator) said the comic was unfilmable, that is a glowing recommendation. The producers wanted to break the movie into 2 or 3 parts but the studio wouldn’t have it. Wait until the director’s cut comes out and it is 4+ hours long. Long live the squid!